Cheryl Ho’s Blog

Okay. Let’s begin with the greetings.

• Happy Lunar New Year (as said by many, but I still prefer the term Chinese over Lunar)!
  
• Happy coolest birthday to my coolest Mom! (February 10th 2008)
  
• Happy 18th birthday to future pilot, Mr. Jian Tan! (February 12th 2008)
  

…and not forgetting,

Happy Valentine’s to all! :)
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Wow. This simply shows how many celebrations there are in February–and I bet that’s not all the February babies there are.
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As usual, we buy our cakes from Sunway Lagoon Hotel. This is, by far, the best and most delicious, soft and also at the same time, crunchy cake ever by Sunway.
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Alicier is it’s name. A combination of Hazelnut, Chocolate and Coffee, what could beat that? Plus, all the toppings and decorative items on the cake are purely made of chocolate.

Serious shit. Mmm hmm
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Mom, I don’t think you’ll ever read this, considering you don’t read my blog. But here’s to you, Mom.

My mother. Mom; particularly with the letter ‘o’ and not the ‘u’, is how I call her. I love my Mom a whole lot. As common as you may hear this from any child, but I do mean it. I love every one bit of my mother.

Loving my mother, is not only telling her I love her, or washing the dishes for her, or doing the chores just because she asked me to, or buying her pretty things.

Loving my mother, is also, showing her respect–which I admit, at times till now, I tend to accidentally don’t.

I must not lie to myself that I am still trying to learn this naturally. This as in respecting my mother. First thought to your head might be, "a rebelious daughter she is, not respecting her own mother??"
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"Did you mop the bathroom after you showered today? The floor is still very wet you know. I’ve told you so many times, to mop it dry.. or the parquet is going to be over damped and spoil in long term…", said Mom.

Knowing myself clearly that yes, I did mop the floor after showering but perhaps I didn’t do a very good job, I was being the average child who could not bother more about answering a lil bit more politely.

"Ya Mom. I mopped already lar.. It’s just not dry yet okay, I dont know why, but I know I’ve mopped it already", I replied. In a not-so-friendly tone. And I’m not proud of that. At all.

That’s just a simple example.

Sometimes we don’t notice how we response to our mothers, to our parents. Even in small tiny issues, if we could just discard the irritated feeling we always felt when mothers speak to us, it would be so much better. So much more respectful in the natural way, not by force.

I don’t want to do this by force. I don’t want to do this just because I was taught to years ago that I should not speak in such tone with my mother, or I shouldn’t have been rude to my mother, or how I should have respected her.

No.

Not just because I was told to. No.

I want myself to grow out of it naturally. I want to learn sincerely to respect my mother in all ways, and at all times. BecauseI love her.
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Loving my mother, is also, appreciating her. Showing her that I care about even the slightest thing.

"Nobody knows what the future holds." Commonly used. Often heard. Absolutely true.

Nobody knows if we have a tomorrow. Or how many tomorrows we have more. I don’t want to wake up and regret not doing these with my mom.

I like how my mom asks me to get her nails done for her.
I like how she doesn’t mind me dressing her up before leaving for somewhere out.
I like how she cooks my noodles just the way I want them; not too soft and the soup not too diluted
I like how she laughs, cos it’s soooo contagious
I like how she would laugh at small little things like it was her first joke on earth
I like how she wakes me up from my bed when it’s only 9am, and she lies to me and says it’s already 10am
I like how she’s sarcastic at times
I like how she tells stories; she giggles and chuckles before she even started telling it

I like everything about my mom.
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How often do you get mothers who know their daughter who has a blog, but doesn’t go checking the blog up and ‘investigating’ on them?

My mom knows I blog. She knows my blog address. And I tell her bout my blog all the time. But she’s never read it even once (I think). Okay, even if my mom knows how to work the computer, I know she wouldn’t check on me like that.

She would let me out with my friends, even if most of the times, it would be a group of only 2 girls and 7 boys. Or 2 girls and 10 boys.

She never questioned me when I said I’ve done my revisions.
She believes that I wouldn’t take her trust for granted.

That’s how much my mom trusts me and respects me. And I am more than grateful for that. Why can’t I play the bigger role for her in that?

Mom, I love you. Always.
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Yours truly,
Cheryl, Happy Valentines, I love you :)

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I finally have my connection up. But still haven’t bought the wifi cards.. so my desktops still cannot be used to go on the net yet.

Life without the internet is crappy. Boring. And lifeless.
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It has also caused me to go out a whole lot more often. Ever since I shifted, that didn’t stop me from going down to USJ and my usual hangout spots to meet my friends. In fact, I go out even more.

Anyway, I didn’t really take much pictures of the new house, it’s getting neater now.. but will post more pictures of it later.
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Here’s one on my sister’s and my room..
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I love the bed and thanks to it, I’m having serious problems with waking up early. The bed is so blardy low (that’s why we love it), and it just sort of makes you feel lazier to wake up in the morning.
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I have been quite busy with my Undang shit other than busy hanging out with my friends.
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5 hours of rubbish talk, seriously not one bit helpful. Ugh, and that’s not the end of it, I have another one more course to attend tomorrow morning (later that is) at 8am. wtf manI passed my Undang test already anyway. I’m fck’n lucky cos I scored a 43 out of 50, which its passing mark is 42.  I went there with a really bad headache, for the first time, hangover I suppose.. and ended up with gastric. What an excellent way to start the day..

If I were have to resit, paying RM50 is not the most painful part. It’s waiting for 7 hours again for my blardy turn.. THAT’S PAINFUL.

Yes, I waited from 9am till 3pm plus for my frik’n turn.
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And that was during my last outing with my whole bunch of friends at Summer Steamboat, Sunway. We had steamboat buffet.. though I didn’t really enjoy the steamboat, but it was darn good catching up and seeing all my friends.

I’ll be starting work next Monday onwards. I’m stationed at 1Utama for a week from 10th Dec, and then hopping over to Subang Parade for the following two weeks. Will not be able to see all them for bout 3 weeks.

And Gillie’s coming back on my first day of work. How fcked up is that. I really want to be there to greet her and hug her the moment she touches down.. I really miss all of them.. Well at least tomorrow’s another night to meet them (except Gillian).
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I’m up blogging, mainly because I can’t sleep. I… just can’t.

I went to bed since hours ago.. but my mind’s not off it. I tried, I really did. I tried thinking about other things to drive my attention away from this, but everything just seems to relate back to it.

I don’t know what to say, I never meant to feel this way.

I don’t want to ruin anything, or everything that we have over these years. But who could have known, that what we have shared has now grown into.

I tell myself that I am wrong, and in a matter of time, I will know that what I’m facing, is wrong.
I tell myself that this cannot happen, and in a matter of time, I will see that it will not.
I tell myself that things are great the way they are, and in a matter of time, I will realize and appreciate it more.
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I keep telling myself things like that…
but I never told myself, how painful it is.. to lie to myself.

To love an unreplied love and being not able to be as one, is hurtful.. but forgettable.
But to share and love each other and not as one, is dreadful and unforgettable.
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I realized my fear, and have always tried to avoid it. I thought I’ve overcome it and became the master of it, instead of it mastering me.

I never believed in that fear of mine.. at least I try not to. I am tired of trying trying trying trying and trying, but what’s about life is that I have to keep trying.

And when I continued trying, I unconciously realized my true fear; falling for you.
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What did I say?
What did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?
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I thought I could resist you,
I thought that I was strong,
Somehow you were different from what I’ve known,
I didn’t see you coming,
You took me by surprise
and you stole my heart before I could say no..
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It is very obvious that I am definitely in one of my most down moments that I’ve ever gone through. I refuse to let this be another night where I cry myself to sleep. At least by this way here, this place here, I wouldn’t have to wake up the next morning realizing the tears I left by the side of my bed last night.

I hate to be in this situation where I don’t know what to do. Don’t know what to say. Don’t know what I want. Don’t know what you want. I wish I was a little less unsure about everything.
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On the 27th October 2007, Cousin Jasmine tied a knot with her man of her life, Alex.

Boy was it a long day I gotta say. We had tea ceremony early in the morning. We got to play games on the groom and his best men (like how you always watch the chinese drama shows on tv). We got to ask for BIG BIG angpau before he can see his wife.

AHHAHA. Sweeeeeet.
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And guess what’s the BIGGEST thing I got to play with?
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HELL YEAH,DSLR CANON 5D !!
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OWHH YEAHH BAYBEHH, I’M FOCUSING!
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Damn man, Uncle Andy sure has good stuffs. It’s a freaking nice toy, I mean, camera. I SHALL EARN MY WAY TO IT ONE DAY… I hope.
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Here are some of the shots I took on that day… Well not many, cos most of the nice pics are in the Canon 5D, which my uncle has yet to share them with me.So here are some of those that I snapped with my camera.
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This part is good man. Make the groom and his best man/men suffer. Muahahha.They had to do 50 sit ups. Alex, the groom, had to bottoms up a cup of milk which he totally can’t take dairy products, so I heard.They had to eat sandwiches with wasabi in it, which they really didn’t know. I guess they thought it was plain bread with butter. They literally shoved the whole thing down their throat, and when the wasabi reactions start,OOOOOO YEAHHH that’s gotta hurt man. Hahah.. how fun.
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And I have a cousin, Joanne, who usually prefers to dress more tomboyish, who looked fab on her sister’s wedding day.
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Jasmine, the bride, looking sweet and fine in that pretty wedding gown.
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“Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it’s just about time…
Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don’t cry……”
by Bob Carlisle, Butterfly Kisses

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That is still by far the most beautiful wedding song I’ve ever heard in my life. The lyrics is fantabulous, it’s very touching. When I get married next time, I would want that song to be played when I walk down the aisle….. (okay that’s IF somebody wants to marry me in the first place)
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That’s a candid shot I took of this cute lil’ kid, who I’m not very sure who she is. Ahah, but that’s a cute face I gotta say.
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(Thanks Aaron @ http://undebug.org for this pic =) )
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I didn’t take any pictures during the wedding dinner cos the table I was sitting at was not really in a nice angle, so yeah.
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You knowwwwww, the guyyyyy… the videocamera dude…… whom my cousin hired for her weddinggggggg……… is HOT.

Shit.
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Yours truly,
Cheryl, what msg to write today ah…. hmm… okay nvm, I don’t know. Just Cheryl. Period.