Cheryl Ho's Blog; the art of conversation

On Appreciations

Dear All,

How do you like my new layout? Smooth? Well I’m still working on it for better changes, spare me lil bit more. And it’s 5 in the morning now. I did not just wake up, I just haven’t went to bed.
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I had a fantastic outing with Jewin, the so called useless “boyfriend”, and Jitz, my Ah Seng. *laughs* :D

I can’t believe the three of us actually drove down all the way to Ikea just for Ikea food. Yeah I’m serious, we didnt buy no shits from Ikea except food.

Oh okaaay la, Jitz bought two flower watering cans for his mommy. Thanks to that, I’ve gotten a free carpark at Ikea too! Call me cheap whatever, in my language it’s called rationally budget. HAHA

Unfortunately Gillie couldn’t tag along with us today.

The three of us decided to yamcha at SS2 after Ikea food. Settled down at this place called Island Cafe. While Jewin was in the midst of telling his story, suddenly *PAAAAPP*.

Something fell from top and landed right on his cap, which he was wearing, of course.

Guess what was it?

?????

A cockroach. Big flying cockroach. A fucking.  BIG. flying. cockroach.

And the moment we settled down from that horrible “tragedy”, *PAAAAAAP*, yet again.

The cockroach landed on the partition on my left, which was just about 2cm away from me, and height exactly just above my head when I’m seated on the chair.

I’ve never heard myself screamed thaaaaat loud, and jumped that high and fast away from anything.

After that second horrible “tragedy”, I swore to God that if I had my camera along with me, I would snap a real good photo of the cockroach posing in that restaurant, and make a GOOOOD review out of it for them, hence publish on World Wide Web and share this with all the food review bloggers.

Pfft.

Okay, that has nothing to do with my title of this post today.
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Now, on appreciations.

Is it only my curiousity, or do others also question the same?

When I was a little girl, I remembered asking Mommy,

“Does someone have to die to be remembered and appreciated?”

“No, silly, why would you ask?”

“Then why famous painters like Leonardo da Vinci was never famous during his living years and his works were only appreciated and worth millions after his death?”
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Is it actually human nature to not appreciate something? Or are we just freely accusing human nature just so someone or something could take this blame?

Why do people have to lose something, only then to realize the lost and the appreciation that should have been given not only after death?

I wish some people would learn to see with their heart, and not just with their bare eyes. If one tries so hard to grab hold of this another one and only to cause losses of all his/her other beloveds, what worth does it make?

I myself do not want to learn this the hard way.
I myself want to assure myself that I see with my heart, and not just with my bare eyes.

I believe the quote that says, “Do not believe what you see, believe what you feel”.

Do you?
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I don’t know if Daddy and Mommy are reading this. I want them to know that I appreciate them a whole lot. As years go by, and I grow maturedly older, I learned to appreciate more. I’ve learnt to undestand that what they do is because they love me. Everything they do for me is because they care for me. They love me and care for me with their sincere hearts.

I am not a daddy’s girl. Neither am I a mommy’s girl.

I once read that one could only choose to be either a daddy’s girl or a mommy’s girl. One can never be both.

Well I’m neither one. Neither both. Does that make me a terrible daughter? I am starting to wonder if I could have been better. If I could, could I still have been myself? If I could, could have things been better then? Or just even more terribly different?

I know my sister Lynn reads my blog. And I respect her not only because she is my elder sister, but because of a woman she has turned into, a person with great responsibilities, always with a positive mind, never giving up in supporting me, and the success and happiness she has brought not only into her life, but also in mine and in the family.

I still wish that I could be both daddy’s and mommy’s girl. Till no matter how big I grow, or how old I turn into, I still want to be a daddy’s girl and a mommy’s girl. I will never want to let them go.

The scar left in me in the past is not forgotten, but it is forgiven. Though it may not ever be the same anymore now, but I hope I am too forgiven for all the scars I left in you.

I hope I never really had disappointed you much as a daughter.
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Some people must learn to appreciate; To appreciate what they already have, and not to neglect what they already have only to ask for more.

Have you not thought about those less fortunate than yourself?

People have to first learn to appreciate themselves; To learn to love themselves. Because without doing so, you are no human worth any elses’ love.

We have to learn to appreciate. Appreciate things that we have. Appreciate the people who love and cherish us. Appreciate the friends who are true. Appreciate what God has given.

And I myself hope that as far till now, I at least have quite a clear picture of what appreciation is.

Though there might be some more room for improvements and knowledge right there, but I suppose I had a good start. At least I did not have to learn it the very hard way.
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*Breathes*
I cannot believe I typed for an hour. Well though not a very long post, I suppose those weren’t very easy words to come out with. Most importantly, I meant every word I said.

And now, I suppose I learnt that it’s time I appreciate a good night’s sleep and not a morning’s sleep. And tonight with Jitz and Jewin, I appreciated the times we friends spent together.
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Yours truly,
Cheryl, FAMILY; Father And Mother (and Lynn) I Love You.
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