Cheryl Ho’s Blog

I think I can safely say that all parents have told their sons or daugthers AT LEAST ONCE of the following line; It’s for your own good.

It’s for our own good? How sure are you?

I was talking to a good friend of mine just now, and was rather angrily motivated by his situation to post this.
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Why do parents oftenly use this line against us? “It’s for your own good”. Yes, I agree. At most times, it really IS for our own good. Especially at those times when we were much younger as kids back then, when we knew nuts about what were bad influences and negative elements. Yes, that I agree, whatever they did or said, was really for the sake of our own good.

But what about studies? Dreams? Passion? Future?
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Dreams and future.

“You have to know the difference between dreams and future”. Another common line from parents when it comes to studies matter.

“If you can dream, and not make dreams your master;
If you can think, and not make thoughts your aim;”
by Rupyard Kipling

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If I can choose to live my dreams, then my dreams will be my future. But if I were to forced to live a future that I’ve never once imagined, then my future will never be my dreams.
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The truth is, it’s too subjective.

Because of the fact that we’ve been taught and had our mind sets since the early beginning that the image of a doctor or lawyer portrays professionality, until today, what we are looking at is merely known as the stereotype icon of the doctor or lawyer.

But what is the real truth behind these stereotype icons? Yet again, it’s too subjective.

I am quite offended on how people tend to stereotype designers. Does it mean that even though they major in the art field, they’re not as intelligent? How sure are you designers don’t earn much? How sure are you they don’t earn as much or more than those you call Professionals? Have you been a designer or an art director before? Are you the person who sets the market demand in the future and many more futures to come?

No.

If we are to be forced to travel the path that we never had the intention to, then in a few years to come after we graduate, we will all be in the same boat no matter what field we major in. We are going to be in the same rat race.

“But the trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat”, by Lily Tomlin.

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Dear parents, Stop stereotyping. Stop assuming. Stop assuming that you guarantee to know exactly what’s best every single time.
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BUT Why do you assume so quickly? How sure are you that there’s surely gonna be a river ahead? Okay now. EVEN IF there’s really a river, how sure are you that there is no bridge across! The only way to know, is to travel further!

Don’t make assumptions too quickly.

The world is changing. It has changed and is still changing. It changes with time. That’s an unarguable fact.

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
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Dear parents, if our interest is in the art and design field, and with that, you say “Don’t live your dream, that dream might in time turn only into a hobby in future”. Thus, you pushed us to the field and path that we never wanted to travel on.

And by that, I must say, indeed we’re not living our dreams. What we are living, is your dreams.

If you can guarantee that you know this and that is for our own good, can you guarantee that in years to come when we have our career, we will not have to wake up dreadfully every morning from bed and look in the mirror at ourselves and say, “Damn it, it’s a Monday. I have to go for bloody work”, or, “Fck, I hate my job!”.

Can you?
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And before you further misunderstand, I’m NOT referring this issue to me or my parents. Not particularly anybody’s infact. I’m just saying it in general.

And with this opportunity, I want to thank both my parents, my loving mother, and father, for understanding my study needs, career interests and all in all, my happiness. I’m more than grateful that my both my parents agree with me choosing my own field of studies. And with that, it is an additional plus point to why I must not let them down.

I shall end this post with this picture,
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Wait. Aren’t all tags wasting time?

Anyways,

Tagged by Michelle Khoo Khoo!
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1. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace and questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

2.Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse.These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

(Part One)

1. Are you allowed to have a bf/gf?
Yeap, I suppose if the guy’s good, then no disallowance.

2. Describe urself in one word.
Retarded

3. Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?
Seriously damn tough. If I pick the one I love, but he doesn’t love me in return, then what happiness is there for both parties? And vice versa. So in conclusion, unanswerable.

4. Have you ever loved someone before but never had the courage to tell him/her?
Yeahh.

5. Does it feel good to love?
Yuppp, at least I hope I know what’s love

6. What do you like to eat?
Hahahahaaha GOOD question. Thank God it didn’t ask me the opposite; What do I NOT like to eat? Cos that would be a way longer list. Anyway, I don’t really tell the whole world on my eating habits. If you’re still THAT curious to know, come ask me.

7. What’s your opinion on someone who is jealous?
Jealous on what reason first.. But most of the times, jealousy is inmatured and full of insecurities.

8. Was there ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?
Yeah..

9. What can you say about playboys/ playgirls ?
Having fun? Heard of Karma?

10. Are you still a virgin?
Yes.

(Part Two)

1. Best place to cry?
Alone on my bed

2. Who’s the person who stands on top of your heart?
Besties and friends

3. Tell us your dream last night?
I think I dreamt that I woke up late, late for test in college, didn’t finish assignment and kena screwing. Typical lah, very slack.

4. Ever hated someone so bad?
Nah, not any that I can think of.

5. The biggest & most hurtful lie you heard?
Anything concerning "FOREVER". IMHO, though some may beg to differ, but nothing is FOREVER at this age. Don’t be naive.

6. The last person you had a beer with?
Mich, Jitz, Becky, Tim, Jian, Jewin, Nithi, Gabby. (not a fan of beer tho, I didn’t drink actually. Hahaha)

7. The last person you went to the movies with?
I can’t even remember what’s the last movie I watched. That’s how outdated I am. Nobody wanna date me, so it’s typical lah

8. The last person you talked on the cell phone with?
My sister

9. The last person you hugged?
Kiki and Ann. Cos we three hugged together at the same time before leaving college.

10. The last person who made you cry?
JJ & Rudy. Their street gotcha this morning was fck’n funny. I laughed until tears came out, serious.

11. In the last week have you kissed someone?
Haven’t kissed since decades

12. Danced crazy?
M.O.S., last Thursday night

13. Think of the last time you were angry, why were you angry?
I’m too friendly to be angry. LOL

14. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
I wish someone would be willing to help me finish up all my 100 human figure sketchings =(

15. If you could have an all expense paid trip, where will you go?
WOW! I wanna go to Paris! London! Hong Kong! Japan! Actually, if budget, Subang also I happy already.

16. Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
Muahahha always. For fun. Thrilling.

17. Are you old fashioned?
Nope. Even my mom is not. I’ve got a cool mom.

18. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them, or that you do not love them back?
That I do not love them back. I’m horrible at declining, saying no, and rejecting. I’m too soft hearted.

19. What things would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
Friends and Family.

20. Five facts About Me:
Blur. Retarded. Sarcastic. Funny (okay maybe lame at times). Procrastinator.

21. Seven songs in my head now :
Mariah Carey - Bye Bye. The Pussycat Dolls - When I Grow Up. Jason Mraz - I’m Yours. Colby O’Donis - What You Got. Lullaby, cos I want to sleep already.

22. Five of your favourite tv shows :
Gossip Girl, damn sure! Amazing Race. American Idol. Project Runway. E! News

23. Five Things I treasure in My Life:
My family. My bestfriends. My DSLR. My life. God.

24. Four "First Time" in My Life:
First flick (Gillie!). First kiss. First trophy and medal. First time getting period.

25. Seven words and things I always use:
words: Serious?. Ya weh. Eh!. Fck lah. How I knowww? Sure ornot? Lapar lah weh
things: Money. Handphone. Clothes. Eyeliner. Camera. Computer. Lingerie.

I tag :
Whoever that’s interested in doing this shit tag
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Yours truly,
Cheryl, sorry update on my DSLR on the next post. Lotsa pics!

“And now we’re rockin on the dancefloor actin’ naughteyh
Your hands around my waist
Just let the music playyy”
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Went to Euphoria, or more commonly called as MOS, with a few friends last Thursday night. Mixtape night.
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Michelle was trying to put on the grey contacts I brought for her (well she bought my extra pair from me), and she took bloooooody long to put on one side I tell you.

Seriously!

I think I waited for her like almost 20 minutes weh to put on contact lens. Maybe now she more pro, I dont know.
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Sorry some shit quality photo.

The night was good, the dancefloor was hot. Euphoria has the best dancefloor lah. Hands down. But the music that night was not the best that I expected tho, still alright.

The guys were practically exhausted even before they reached MOS because they went Genting before that. So wasn’t really one of the best clubbing nights. But once again, the dancefloor was hot la weh.

Sadly Brenda couldn’t tag along. Exams are shitty.

Here are some pics that we snapped randomly that night..
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It was a non-alcohol clubbing night. I didn’t drink except for the one drink on the house for ladies, and yeah.. Everyone else was sober.. that’s what I know of la though.
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I was wearing all black like a mini black dress shit, and some random dude mistaken me as one of the club ambassadors there, asking bout some inside admin admin shits as tho I was working there wtf.

Anyway, Michelle was looking hot n Jitz, awesome nostrils vest.
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Hahaahaha you still love me I know. HAHAH Very handsome lah, dont worry. You so love me that you feel like hugging me now I know LOL
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The lovey dovey birdies.
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Okay fullstop to the pictures. I have millions of assignments to do (well not literally), but it’s gonna take me million years to complete it. I wanna die weh..

Before I go continue with my work, this is thebest parody shit.  Seriously! That’s the only link I could find on the net to that parody. If you malas to wait for the video to stream, then just listen to JJ & Rudy on Hitz.fm Morning Crew, their latest Parody on Avril’s Girlfriend.
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“Hey hey you you why aren’t you on FACEBOOK!”

Frikn funny, serious.
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AND OH! I BOUGHT MY DSLR ALREADY!

%@#&)@&$*!)@&#!@&%)*!@&%!@)%&!@%

I KNOW RIGHT!!
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Hahahahaha I’m damn excited. Took quite a few photos already, but still learning the cam. What model I bought? Secret. Wait till the next post and you’ll find out. (:
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Yours truly,
Cheryl, lotsa shitty assignments

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How can I be more grateful than I am right now for what I’ve finally managed to achieve.. I’m overwhelmed with joy and very very relieved. At last..

I’VE FINALLY GOTTEN A SCHOLARSHIP! 50% !! FROM LIMKOKWING UNI!

HELL YEAH
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The happiest part is that this scholarship is applicable starting from my current Semester 2 (right now) till throughout of my whole BA (Hons) in Professional Design Degree programme!

No words or pictures or whatever shit can describe how frik’n happy I was, and still am, when I got the news over the phone I tell you.. No one. Nothing. Na’ uhh.

And may I say, the cutest part of this thing is… the offer letter perhaps? Here read it. And note the part where I highlighted in yellow.. heh
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Enjoy 50% off. Sounds like some Mega Sales la weh. Seriously. Very funny.

But I don’t give a shit, cos that’s not the important thing. Muahahaaa sorry I’m very happy, forgive me. . . I feel so proud of myself weh (cehwahh). No la, actually I’m just damn grateful that I didn’t give up trying for this (I couldn’t afford to give up anyway, lol).

When I applied for this scholarship, the guy (local student counsellor) said this to me,

"Ehh… Cheryl Ho… you again ah?? If I’m not wrong.. last semester you got apply before right.. And rejected. Eh and The Star Scholarship also you apply right.. BUT, rejected also. So this is your 3rd time applying ah?" -.- .

He jokingly added,

"Alaa eh, don’t need to apply already la.. 1st time rejected, 2nd time also rejected, this 3rd time also SURE reject one. Don’t waste your time la.."

He even suggested me to apply for Sin Chew and Nanyang Scholarship instead.

Wth. Joker. BUT, thank God he was really helpful with my application. We went through quite an interesting conversation. I’m very lucky because I applied this on a Friday, and the following Monday he called me up straight. If that is not lucky then I dont know what is.
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Anyways, now that my Semester 2 began, and Week 2 of it just passed, my assignments are already starting to pile up like dog weh. Cannot take it. Have to sketch 50 human figures per week you know! And alot more of other assignments and projects. But I enjoy doing it, so it’s not all that bad. Just that it’s very time consuming. Thus, the lesser updates on my blog. (:

Sorry darlings. Don’t get emo. I might be slow and away for a while but I’m not gone, not even if you want me to be. Muahah
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Okay it’s 2am now, I want to tido already because tomorrow is yet another long day of assignments-marathon. So goodnight my darlings and wait,

So what’s the moral of the story today?

NEVER. GIVE. UP.  *with Terms & Conditions applied*
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Hahahahh. Byebye machas and braders.
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Yours truly, Cheryl, please buy me a DSLR..

I’ve been down. Things had been invisibly hard lately. Classes are starting back to normal from tomorrow onwards. I’m upset, and I don’t feel like returning back to uni.The moment I step in Limkokwing tomorrow morning, is the moment I know I have to stop avoiding my problems, my issues and all of the things that I have yet to settle.

But it’s not that simple as how you count your 1, 2, 3s, or say your ABCs.
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I just received my Sem1 results a few days ago. So what if I earned myself 2 A+s, an A and 2 A-s? Straight As? So what? Is that good and far enough to earn me a scholarship? In Limkokwing, that’s not all that it takes. It’s depressing and very demotivating. Sometimes the people assigned to be there to help you out, is indeed not very helpful at all.

I have to go through all the procedues in applying all these shits all over again. And what would I get this time? Oh perhaps the same shit whereby the staff incharge who was SUPPOSE to help me, lost all my documents and application form and acted like nothing ever happened and it has got one bit nothing to do with him?

What if I fail to receive a scholarship? What if the government loan PTPTN doesn’t approve 100% loan? Where am I going to find cold hard cash to pay this lum sum of fees? Are they going to kick me out of class if I cannot afford to pay?

You know, this fees and financial thing has been a thorn in my body for many many months. It’s utmost depressing to even think about it. I feel really stressed out. But I don’t want my family to know how big the impossibility of me getting a scholarship is. I don’t want to be a burden to my family, especially to my mom.

My mom has already used an amount of money to pay for my first semester. And I don’t want her to pay a single cent more for me. I know clearly of my family’s situation, and I want to prove to them all, that I can do it, on my own, I can pull through this. But what have I achieved till now?

Nothing.

I’m in a stage where I feel very disappointed with my ownself. I feel useless and demotivated.

I even had the thought of stopping my studies at the moment, and work to earn some money first, so that I can pay off for my own fees. Indeed I was sort of given an offer to work for a long term. In this short term that I’ve worked part time as a freelancer for events, exhibitions and roadshows, honestly I did receive a few good offers from a few companies and offices, for a long term job.

Without even considering, I thanked them for their kind offer, but I am still studying. I am still a student. I have yet to graduate and I have 3 more years to go.

Then again, when I was alone by myself, I thought to myself. Yes indeed I am still studying. Indeed I am still a student; A student who cannot afford to pay for her educational fees.
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I cannot believe I actually considered quiting my studies for the time being, and work first. I did not mention this to my family at all, until the day I lightly brought this matter up to my elder sister. And she disagreed strongly. She said, “Once you stop studying, you will never want to continue studying. And I will never let you do that.”

Which I think, it is rather true.

Which is why, I’ve not given up till today. I don’t know how the roads are ahead of me, I don’t know if there would be a bridge over the river ahead of me, I don’t know when will it rain or shine. But I know, I must hang on.
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Sometimes, it hurts me a lot when my family puts it in such a way as though I don’t understand anything, as though I don’t know what the situation is like now. Things they say would always put me in a place as though I still have a very inmatured thinking and not independent.

But what they didn’t know is, I really do know everything… very clearly. Since I was 11,  I had been more matured and independent of a child at my age would be.. I took the heart and effort to try to understand what actually is going on in this family, in this world. And I understood.

I could have chosen to avoid understanding and continue being the youngest-in-the-family-daughter. But I didn’t. And I’ve never regreted that. Sometimes I do question myself,are all of these burden and issues and complications too much to be beared by a simple 18 year old teenager like me? I bothered to question, but I didn’t bother for an answer. Because it wouldn’t matter. Because I know we’re a family… and that is why, sometimes….. I wish they would understand me too.
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Friends are the people in life that can bring you up. Rarely did I know, they’re also the people who can bring you down. Have things really change? If it didn’t had for us, why should it have been for you? Are we not the ones you wish to share your laughs and cries with anymore?

Don’t go. Don’t change.. Please…
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Classes are starting tomorrow onwards. So i guess it’s back to the 7am alarm, bathe, dress up, eat, college routine again. I wonder how harsh assignments are gonna be this sem. I hope still kind enough to spare my life a little.

The only thing that makes me look forward to right now is hanging out with my friends for a drink, yamcha and chit chat on our regular Friday nights. Perhaps it’s the best time, place and people to release everything out to? Somehow with them, I would never forget who I am, and I would never feel lost and down.

Lately things had been hard and happening all at the same time. So it’s rather hard to control. But I’ve always believed for a better tomorrow. At least this is just “lately”, and not “forever”.
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Yours truly,
Cheryl, I miss you all a lot all of a sudden.. 

Last Tuesday, which was the day I met up with Yen, well before that, I met up with my high school friends. A few of them. I picked James up from school. And it was reaaaallly good seeing him. I haven’t seen him since SPM results night. That was in March. IF THAT ISN’T YEARSSS THAN WHAT IS IT
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Well initially the plan was just to have lunch in Taipan or something. Then Michelle said the others would be going to Swensons, for some cheap 50% ice cream. Swenson’s Every-Tuesday’s-Offer thingy.

Well you know Malaysians, and discounts.

So, poor James. He didn’t bring along any clothes with him. So all the way until at the end of the day, he kept bugging and complaining to me about how lame it was that he’s wearing Form6 cool school uniform out.

But hey James, at least you’re not green!
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Swenson’s ice cream was shitty. Pardon me for being frank. Well if there wasn’t any 50% off, it wouldn’t even be worth paying for. No actually, even with the 50% off, it’s still not worth paying for!

I’d rather spend a lil more and have better ice cream at Baskins or something. Even Mat Kool is cooler.
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Time has passed, and times have changed.

Seeing James the other day really made me recall back about a lot of memories in high school. I miss high school a lot. My class of 5Amanah was ZEE bomb. All the jokes, lame and funny, ups and downs, success and failures, we shared them all together in that very class.

High school was a very fun place to be at, well apart from SPM and exams and shits. Heh

Well, we only left high school less than a year. We’re only 18 this year. But many friends have already gone far away, some drifted far apart, some not even a call or a text, and some just totally lost contact of.

If this is how it’s like when it’s 18, what about when we’re 25?

Where’re we gonna be when we turn 25?

Will there still be our regular Friday nights yamcha session in OTK Taipan? What about our once-in-a-while partying and clubbing times? Our birthday celebrations?
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It’s just sad to accept the fact that people do change along with time. Well, some for the better. And sadly, some for the worse.

Why is it that we humans never stop asking? We never stop asking for more. When will we learn to stop, and learn that when enough is enough? Perhaps, “enough” is not even in our vocabulary. I suppose the only way we’ll ever stop asking, is when God stops granting what we’re asking for.

And when that happens, isn’t it already a little too late?

Is it that hard for us to learn how to be happy with what is already being granted?

It’s no wonder we’re claimed to be the most complicating and complex creatures on Earth.
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I’m just missing the old times a lot. College is not all that bad, but it isn’t the same as high school. And the things you do, and the people around you, aren’t the same anymore. I miss all my high school friends.

If you’re lost, just turn to your back and you’ll find a road that you have once travelled. And that is the road, that we have walked together.
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OH WELLL

Moving on. You knowwwww what the helllll?

Tonight was my college’s Freshies Night for Sem2, and I damn right didn’t have a clue about it. Plus, my coll mates are going to Hops and Grapes for an after party.

Pffft. Oh well. Never mind. I had fun at home too, watching all my downloaded TVB series. Very nice, being Chinese at home watching Chinese drama.

Okay lah, it’s getting very early now. I meant, early in the morning of the next day. So…. take care all, more updates soon.

Before I leave,
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Retard. Whatever.
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